Hi, there! We have translated for you some russian adds from our collection. Earlier some people posted them in different kinds of Russian papers, not thinking to make laugh. But they did! So we found, cut out and scaned this adds and published them on our site. Originals you can see here, but them in Russian :))

So, WELLCOME!

funny adds about Love&Marriage

• A short, bold, stout, poor and homeless man will ruin the life of a beautiful, sexy, wealthy woman under 37. Oleg.
• Freddy Krueger starts hunting for kind and affectionate girls. I’m 37, 110 pounds, 5 feet, male style. Moscow, general delivery, to Olga S.
• An unrecognized genius is looking for a considerate and educated assistant under 45. Vladimir.
• A single man, owner of a mobile phone is looking for a woman having a fixed phone from 18 to 35, for love and marriage. No pagers or walkie-talkies required.
• Introduce you to a friend of mine – a firm director – for deep relationship and marriage. Vladislav.
• Urgently: a businessman is looking for a decent girl free of false ambitions who has a right view on woman’s position within the household and in the world in general, for a beautiful love. Alex, 37, 5,8 feet, brown eyes.
• A high-educated Muscovite without bad habits, wealthy teacher, 37, 5,9 feet, 78 kilos. Of course, it’s difficult to find a spouse by this ad, but I’m an optimist. I’m waiting for your letter and phone number.
• Marry off all my girlfriends. Men under 30 preferred.
• A woman from Moscow, 55, 5,4 feet, 160 pounds, appearance and temper are spoilt accordingly to the age. Not a lady, but vivacious. Have no neighbours, beds and cats. Looking forward to a call from a sentient being of 60-65. Anna.
• An underground millionaire, professional swimmer and kickboxer of model look, is looking for a woman for intimate dates at his place. Marriage is possible if we like each other. Sergey.
• A widow, 65, 5,4 feet, Libra, Cock, is looking forward for a request from the men: Vladimir, Leonid, Anatoly, Nikita, Josef.
• A charming, smart man will relieve solitude of a woman of any age who loves the Lord, Pushkin, likes playing chess, knitting and would like to live in the country. I’m townsman of 63, my father is 135. Pyotr, Ukraine.
• A man from Moscow, 34, 5 will meet a girl of 25-35 to invite her for a holiday to Egypt after the war is over. I guarantee decency. Please send me a few words about yourself your phone number.
• I’m a very busy man of 35, looking for a girl, possible nonresident, to marry her without lingering courting. That’s all. Maxim.
• A good-looking man, 31, 5,8 feet, 160 pounds, without bad habits, is looking for a woman for love and marriage. No cynologists and gardeners should be concerned.
• Andrey, 28, good-looking and serious guy. I live in a private house and looking for a dear grandpa of about 50-60, childless, grey-haired, for permanent residence at my place forever to start a male family of you and me.
• An orderly guy of 38 wants to have orderly children, one at least. Everyone is welcome to reply, especially the wishful.
• Sergey, 34, a slender man without housing problems, is looking for a girl who dreams to build a strong family with a beloved husband, but will regularly cuckold me. It’s the trait that will let save the family till the very end. I prefer women of salt who smoke and like beautiful clothes and high-heeled shoes. Pls send me your picture.
• I’d like to meet a girl. I’m 30 and have 30 years ahead. I’ve never been married, introduce me to somebody, I trust you.
• A unique young man of 26 featuring saturated intellectual potential and absolutely decorative look offers a slender, courtoise, merciful girl or woman of any age and social status to join our mental and physical strengths to form a matrimonial monogamous infrastructure. I promise you to be faithful and kind, a strict workaholic and loving husband to you and father to your child. I will do my best to contribute to well-being and consolidation of our family and development of your child. Middle-aged women are preferable. A reply to your letter will be made in epistolary genre only. Ernest, Yekaterinburg.

funny adds about Sex

• Let’s go! 426-73-*
• Dear women! Gift yourself a man. I’m 37.
• Shock! 720-93-*
• A young and handsome lad having a big-size advantage will meet a woman for unforgettable dates. Andrey.
• A young, tall, handsome blue-eyed stallion, 19, is looking for young girls for one night stand. Kyrill.
• Looking for intimate relations. No job required! Igor, 25, 5,6 feet, 132 pounds, crew-cut, without bad habits. Waiting for a call from a slim handsome guy under 19, from Moscow and region.
• Alexander, 39, 5,9 feet, 196 pounds. I’m looking for a single healthy woman under 35. from Moscow for FREE tender dates at her place. I take no fee and provide no maintenance.
• I’m an ugly girl having financial and housing problems. Looking for a gorgeous young man under 30, wealthy Capricorns preferred, Tatyana.
• A pretty girl is looking for a mistress to her gingerbread house. Bind me to the bed to fatten me until I grow stout! Zhanna, Moscow.
• Aryna, a nice, charming and vivacious girl of 20, 5,7 feet, 94 pounds would like to meet a wealthy gentleman. Katya.
• A gentle boy, 32, 5,7 feet, 147 pounds looking for tender girl for an intimate relation.
• Satisfaction for a nymphomaniac.
• Looking for a man for infrequent dates. I’m 41, 5,7 feet, 147, and can afford it still…
• Charming Snow White, 19, 5,6 feet, 198 pounds, dreams to meet a wealthy and generous man for unforgettable dates at his place. Your age and weight make no difference. A banknote in the envelope will help me to understand your nature better. Eva.
• I offer you intimate penpalling during forthcoming winter only so I’ll call it simply Express Service.
• A gigolo will meet a kind, pretty girl. Beloved and desired, where are you?.
• Angélique in agony of suspense.133-10-*
• Leisure round-the-clock. Dream land, special massage, nights full of passion
• A fairy tale with your own final.
• A long-legged birch 504-30-*
• Go back to the good old days. Round-the-clock.
• Free leisure 723-03-*
• A man will meet a married couple that will show him how they do it.
• Dyma for everyone 724-03-*
• Student girls, free delivery.

funny adds about Wanted:

• Looking for a woman who will strap me once a week. E-mail me.
• A freelance journalist, Olympic poet from Moscow would like to meet Russian giants to write a nice essay about them.
• I hate female mercantilism and strive to live at men’s expense. I’m looking for a married woman for passionate penpalling to share intimate secrets. Experienced and vigorous are welcomed.
• Looking for a man who will paint my dreams, main attention should be paid to colours. I’ll consider any offers.
• I’ve invented a unique bicycle engine. Looking for a mechanical engineer, draughtsman and sponsor to develop my unique invention.
• A donation of $2000 required for a Moscow engineer who invented a synthesizer of reality. Vadim.

funny adds about For Sale:

• Big spoon for all who likes black caviar. Mikhail.

funny adds about Health:

• Aching Legs? Want To Run? Your Health at 8(926) 522-73 - *, 750-17 -* Natalya

funny adds about Offers:

• E-cook will return wife to her husband
• A young man, 29, 5,8 feet, 150 pounds will make intimate shaving for you. I can come to any region and stay with you. I’m a good cook and driver. Looking for a reply from a married woman (confidentiality guaranteed) or even a temerarious man.
• An exclusive handbag made of seamless one-piece crocodile leather (including head, tail and foots) for an extravagant woman, $200, Marina.
• Deliver us your excessive weight, 182-07-*
• Legendary musicians will consider any offer. Vasily, Inna.

funny adds about JOBS:

• Job for the zealous, $500
• Job for the Scorpios, Sagittariuses, Capricorns, from $600.
• For the Non Smokers! $999
• For the Elite. $1000.
• For the Tatars. $800.

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